Ambrose Brothers

60 Years! (And Counting)

I would like to share with you in celebration once again.  This weekend I had the privilege of  joining with my family (some  whom I had not  seen since I can't remember) in celebration of my grandparents and their 60 years of marriage!  That's right 60 years!  I thought this occasion was worth taking today's post to make a very important point.

Matthew 19:4-6  "Haven't you read,"  He replied,  "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Isn't God's plan perfect?   Man and women, joined together to become one.  Placed together by the Almighty Creator of the universe, till death do us part!  We live in a world of little commitment, little value in a commitment (which erases the commitment), and no desire to be committed to anything, or anyone other than ourselves!  Marriages come and go, as fast as stupid reality shows on T.V.  Actually marriages now come as the result of stupid reality shows on T.V.

My Grandparents are two incredible people.  Many of my values, morals, views, come from watching them over the 27 short years of my life.  My grandfather, has been my role model in life as long as I can remember.  There is a special place in my mind, where all my childhood memories of Grandpa and Grandma are stored, and frequently revisited.  Let me share with you just a few things that have always stood out:

1) They both are first committed to Jesus Christ!  Really nothing more needs to be said on this point.  It is more then words, it is their life!  Every minute of every day, they follow, trust, love, and serve Jesus Christ!

2)  Grandpa loves Grandam.  I know it sounds simple, but it is more then mere words.  I am sure they have had their differences, and struggles, but he has a love for her, that is unconditional.  I never heard a harsh word, I never saw a look of disappointment, I never saw anything but love. Which is the Love we men are supposed to have for our wives. "Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)  I never saw, heard, or felt, anything other than this pure unconditional love.

3) Grandma respected Grandpa.  Never did I see or hear Grandma do anything, that would be even slightly disrespectful to Grandpa.  Never a rolling of the eyes, never arguing about a decision, never belittling him or cutting him down.  Not  a respect like a scared employee with an irate lunatic boss, but a respect that he was the leader of the home (because the Bible says so) and she followed God's Word with joy. "and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33b)

I could go on and on, the example they have set for myself as well as the rest of my family is a example straight out of God's Word.  We can all learn a lot from these two special people.  I know I have, and I look forward (Lord willing) to celebrate my 60th anniversary with my wife!

Action step for today:
1) Husbands love your wives. No strings attached just love her for being her.  Remember God placed you together, thank Him for it.

2) Wives respect your Husbands.  Rather they "deserve" it or not!  Respect them as the leader in your home, lift them up to be the men God has called them to be.  Don't bring them down, and crush them by picking apart everything they do.

One Short of a Decade

Today is a very special day.  Nine years ago today I met my wife at the alter of the church that we grew up in.  We stood in front of family and friends and confessed our love for each other, and our dedication to put God first in our marriage.  I was 18 and she was 20 and I am proud to say that nine years later our love for each other and our commitment to God, has never been stronger.

Sure we have had some hard times.  We have had our disagreements, our pain, our tears, and sometimes our knock down drag out brawls.  And I would not trade a single moment of it.  You see what we established on our wedding day, is what we have built our lives upon.  Here are a couple keys:

1) To make Jesus Christ the center of our marriage.

This has been absolutely essential in our marriage.  With Jesus Christ being the center of our marriage, that makes Him the focus in our lives.  It unifies the decisions we make because both of us have in mind the things of Christ and what will be most beneficial in His kingdom not our kingdom.  It has given us a united passion, and focus for our lives.  To live a life pleasing to God and to spread the teachings of Jesus Christ. 

Having a unified vision is crucial in a successful marriage.  We do sometimes disagree on the specific way of accomplishing the mission, but our destination is always the same.  This reduces fights, and when issues get heated we simply stop, spend some time in prayer with each other seeking God's will not our own. 

2) Keep your word.

This is a practice that is done very little in todays world.  Words, are words with out meaning, and a hand shake means nothing.  Just the other day I was in the process of selling one of my vehicles, the deal was closed with a hand shake, and the buyer said he would go to the bank in the morning, and stop by right afterward to pay for and pick up the car.  Instead he called me in the morning and had had changed his mind.

When I told my wife, "I Do" and she did the same, what we really meant was "we do"  For sickness and health, better or worse, rich or poor, till death do us part.  We meant it!  We decided before we got married that divorce would never be a word in our home.  Regardless of how tough things got, divorce was not an option, we would work through any and all situations together.

3) Love your wife like Christ loves the church (unconditional)

You want a happy marriage, men you want to connect with your wife?  You want your wife to respect you, and seek to please you, then here is the simple solution.  Love her!  That's it.  Love her no matter what, without strings attached, without a hidden agenda, simply love her.  Whether the dishes are done or not, love her.  Whether you have to iron your own shirt, love her.  Whether she cooks or doesn't just love her. 

Words could not describe how much I love my wife.  If she never cooked again, or if she never washed my clothes or cleaned a single dish my love for her would not change.  My love is not based on her "good works" it is based on who she is.  And who she is, is the women who God has created for me to spend my life with.

It is funny that these 3 keys to a successful marriage are the same 3 keys to having a great relationship with Jesus Christ.  We need to make Jesus the center of our lives.  He needs to be our number 1 priority, all our decisions should be based on His plan, and be focused on increasing his Kingdom.  We need to keep our commitment.  We we said Jesus was Lord of our life, we need to make Him Lord of our life.  All the time, with no backing out.  And we need to love Him unconditionally.  After all that is how He loves us.  Not a Love based on "Well Jesus if you do this for me, I will pray this week"  But a love for who  He is.  Our Savior.  The one who loves you enough that He died for you.  The one that God has sent for you to spend your entire life with.

Happy anniversary Jenny, I love you, and thank you.

10 Years and Counting

Earlier this week I mentioned a verse I have found in Proverbs, chapter 18, verse 22 to be exact; this is the verse I’d like to look at today. "22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." Now you may read this, and wonder where all the vanity and the grasping of the wind is at. Well, its not here today. Instead of taking time to continue our exploration through Ecclesiastes, I chose this morning to take a moment to talk about marriage, on my ten year anniversary.

First let me say, that in my wife, I have found a good thing, I have found favor in the Lord. Jen is truly an amazing person. She is smart, and beautiful, she works a full time job, Raises my children, keeps the household up and running, and still finds time to be a part of my ministry both here and in the church. For those of you who have been enjoying our thoughts here, you have in part my wife to thank. She bought the site, found the tool, connected them, and wrote code. If all that had been up to me, we’d be printing our thought on to fliers and handing them out in front of the 7-11, because I have no idea how this all works.

Now for those of you who know my wife or have even seen our pictures, you may be thinking we don’t look old enough to have been married ten years. (Or at least I hope you are) Well, we were married young by American Standards or at least Christian standards. And yes sometimes things were rough early, yet I wouldn’t change a thing; even if I could. So often times people want to wait, until there in a better situation, wait until they have the perfect job, wait until they can afford it. I’m not saying it’s wrong to wait; I am saying it’s not always right to wait. Remember He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.

So what’s my secret you ask? In today’s day and age many marriages don’t last ten years. Especially those among to head strong firstborns like my wife and I. Well there’s great news out there, there is no secret. The key’s to a solid marriage are found right in the Word of God, and free for the taking.

It kills me that the divorce rate among Christians is the same as non-Christians, as a matter of face, a recent study by the Barna Research Group, shows that divorce rates among Christians is higher then those outside the church. How can that me. My wife and I are together today, because we have both made a decision to be. We’ve read the Word of God, seen his displeasure in divorce and both mad a decision that divorce was never an option, and will never be an option. We both wake up daily and make the decision to love each other. Sure love is a feeling, but it’s also an act of will. And when you make it about more then feelings I believe it will last. Are there days my wife doesn’t like me, sure. Are there days I’m not as happy with her, sure. But that doesn’t matter, because through all of that we both know we still love each other. And even beyond that, we both know were with each other for life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’s also important to remember the flip side of that statement. If love in a controlled act of will. Then I can make the decision not to fall in love with another woman. You see love is not uncontrollable, love is not overwhelming, and love is not random. All of these are lies that have been pushed upon you my Hollywood, by the media, by the humanist movement. What is love you ask? Love is an act of will, love is accompanied by emotion (but it’s not only emotion) and love leads to an action on its behalf. What action you ask. Well Christian, I’ll tell you. As much it’s become taboo lets look to Ephesians 5:22-25, 28, and 33:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Although I don’t have time to go into great detail this morning, let me just say this, husbands, the action of love calls you to treat your wife right, to sacrifice of yourself for her, whether or not she deserves it. And wives, the action of love calls for you to respect your husband. Respect his God given position in the family. Even if he doesn’t deserve that respect; respect him.

Let me say this in closing, if all Christians followed these commands in Ephesians, we would not see a divorce rate higher then the world. We may not see one at all.

And on a personal note, Jen… Happy Anniversary